For those of you who are not in Northeast USA, ignoring the news, or just refusing to look outside, we have a blizzard on our hands here in Washington, DC. It has been incredible--over 36 hours of snowfall and over 2 feet on the ground. Some of us are fine with just staying inside for the next week and a half and some of us need...to...get...out...of...the...house! Driving anywhere isn't an option and even walking is a struggle so your immediate community, your neighbors, are your lifeline.

I love this article because so often when I hear talk of immigrant communities, I hear derogatory and insulting statements about why they cannot acclimate to their adopted country or that they only spend time with people from their home country. I think people so often fail to recognize the importance of community. In a blizzard like this, it becomes incredibly obvious why community is important, but it is important all of the time. Life is not easy and having people around you who genuinely care about you is essential. It is often difficult for many immigrant families to find community outside of people from their home country, because let's face it, Americans aren't always super welcoming. (Need proof?)

So think about your own community and how you would fare without them. Then read the article and put yourself in their shoes. How would these people get along without the community that they created? Could that sense of community have been recreated with others? How welcoming would you have been if these families moved into your neighborhood?

In a previous blog post, I talked about getting adolescents to talk about race. This is a great article to use to start a conversation. It will be interesting to hear their perspective. 

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This is the final installment of this series. Even if you have a teen at home or a young adult who is no longer at home, check out some of the previous blogs on this topic as well. Even some of the suggestions in the babies section will be applicable to you and your child. You should check the toddlers/preschoolers and school-aged kids posts as well. And if you are still not sure why it is important to talk about this stuff, find out why here and here. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of the series. Enjoy!

Teenagers/Young Adults:
I included young adult in here because once your kids are adults, they will encounter a whole other set of issues regarding race that they may have been shielded from when they were living at home. Don't stop the conversation when your kids leave the house! The brain continues to develop until a child is about 26 so even in their early 20s, they are still trying to make sense of the world. So keep it going well into adulthood.

• Watch the news and read articles together: Kids this age are not oblivious-they know what is going on in the world. People are talking about it at school, in their extracurricular activities, at your place of worship, etc. They know about Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, and Sandra Bland and they have opinions about it. Do you know what those opinions are? You should. Take some time at the end of the day or on a weekend to read an article or watch a few minutes of the news. Then discuss it and see what they have to say. You may be surprised by how much they talk.
• Have the hard conversations: This is a continuation of the conversations that you started when they were school-aged kids. Kids who are 16 and 17 are about to legally become adults (keyword: legally). They need to understand that their actions have consequences and that their parents won't be able to bail them out if they make really bad, racially-charged decisions. Think that teenagers are innocent and don't make poor choices that can affect them for the rest of their lives? Check out this article. Things like this happen all the time and it is not just the victim who suffers. So be honest about the world outside of your home and the potential consequences of their actions.
• Answer their questions with questions: You have worked really hard to have an open household and to have honest conversations, so now your teen is coming to you and asking questions  (yes, teens do talk!). Do not give them a simplistic or easy answer! Those answers do not really exist. Our world is complicated and they can and should continue to talk about it-with friends, in classes, with colleagues. It may be frustrating for them, and for you, not to just give them a quick soundbite, but they will likely appreciate your honesty and your willingness to treat them like the (almost) adults that they are. I have yet to meet a teenager who doesn't appreciate the phrase "You are not a 5- or even 10-year-old; I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you." Whatever comes next is usually not as blunt as it would be as a conversation with an actual adult, but adolescents appreciate it when you do not treat them like babies. They will like that you encourage them to challenge themselves and discuss their thoughts with others. What an empowering thing to teach young people as they head off into the world!

This is the end of our series. But don't worry, there is more! If you enjoyed it and want weekly inspiration and empowerment for having these conversations and so much more, sign up for our newsletter. Instead of having to remember to check out the blog, you will get great information delivered right to your email. Tips, strategies, articles, and videos so you don't have to figure it all out yourself! When you sign up, you will receive a useful book list that will allow you to put in place one of the first suggestions from this series.
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Don't forget to leave a comment and contact us if you have questions or you want Dr. Sweeney speak to your group.

Welcome back! We are more than halfway through this series. I hope that you are enjoying it so far. Remember, this post builds upon the previous one. In addition to the suggestions listed below, check out the posts for Toddlers and Preschoolers and Babies (yes, babies!). Incorporate as many suggestions as you can. As you go along, you will see just how much these interventions all interact with and contribute to one another. Enjoy!

School-Aged Kids:
This is a time of significant cognitive development for kids. Children are now much more logical and linear in their thought process. Their thoughts are not as egocentric, meaning they are able to see how events affect other people and not just them directly. Children can also see how different events are connected and contribute to one another. This cognitive development mirrors their linguistic development, meaning that children are actually able to have  conversations about the things that they observe. Therefore, this is a great time to start having real conversations with kids about race. They can actually talk about what they see and hear. Be careful to tailor your language to an age-appropriate level, but do not water down your conversations. Be direct, open, and honest. 

• Pay attention to what they are watching & listening to: You do not have to limit or ban everything that your child is watching. That will only lead to rebellion (they will watch it at a friend's house or at school) and sends the wrong message anyway. If you simply ban the things that you worry will send the wrong message, they will get the message that these confusing topics are not to be discussed. You want your child to talk to you about these things, remember? Now, I'm not saying that you should let your 9-year-old go out and watch an R-rated movie for the sake of discussion, but if you hear a song that they like that has racial undertones, talk to them about it. Also, talk to them about the movies and TV shows they watch. Are there any people of color on these shows? How are they being portrayed? Ask their opinion and offer yours. Let them know that there are not any 'right' answers. Use these opportunities to harness their skills as racial observers.
• Take a more active role in friendships: This suggestion comes with a disclaimer. At this age, you cannot create friendships for your child out of thin air. Playdates can help, but there are social lines in your child's school and friendship groups. Do not assume that you can infiltrate and change all of that. That being said, these are children, not teenagers yet, and they can still benefit from adult guidance. Your child does not have to be friends with everyone and friendships at this age often change on a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis. Kids can be best friends one day and are barely speaking the next. Pay attention to how and why friendships are evolving and changing over this time period. Does some of this have to do with race? And continue to pay attention even if the friendship group is racially heterogeneous. That is not the end-all, be-all. As these friendships play out, lines are drawn and hierarchies are established. These occur for all kinds of reasons, some of which involve race. There will be a future blog post about diverse friendships so be sure to check back to get more information about this topic.
• Start having more honest conversations: I know that this seems scary, but don't worry! Chances are, your child does not think that this topic is so overwhelming. You are much more nervous about it than your child is. Try to model that this is just like any other conversation and start talking! Kids at this age are noticing racial discrimination. What's more, they also notice when adults do not talk about or address it and that sends an incredibly powerful (and negative) message. If your child does not come to you with questions or concerns, bring something up with them. It can be from a movie, a book, or a song, but it is even more powerful when you see something happen in real time and point it out to them. Do you see a Latina at the bank being spoken to more harshly than her White counterpart? Do you see a security guard at a store take more notice when a Black man walks in than when a White man does? Work hard to see these things-they exist everywhere-and talk about them with your child. 

Remember that this list builds from the last one. Many of the suggestions in the Toddlers & Preschoolers post are applicable to School-Aged Kids so check it out and apply some of your favorites. Do you have other ideas? Post them in the comments below! And don't forget to sign up for our newsletter! Check back in a few days for tips on kids who hardly seem like they are kids anymore: Teenagers.

The following will be a series of blog posts about how to introduce the concept of race in your home or classroom. We will start with the youngest ones and go from there. Each of the previous ages build on the other. You can always incorporate suggestions from a younger age. So even if you have a 6 foot tall teenager at home, check this section out and see how you can utilize some of these strategies now. Check back in a few days for the next age: Toddlers/Preschoolers. And don't forget to sign up for the newsletter to receive regular tips like these ones. Enjoy! 

Babies:
Yes! Even babies! In my previous post, I stated that even infants understand that race exists. Obviously, you will not be sitting your child down and talking to them about how racism manifests in our society. But you can open the door to conversations that are sure to come. At this age, it's all about exposure.

• Read books with a diversity of characters: This includes books that have characters of all races, characters with different religions, characters with two mommies, two daddies, single parents, foster children, adoptive families, families from different countries, multilingual books, etc.
• Sing songs/chants from other countries and cultures: Use Google and YouTube for this one. There are all kinds of great songs out there! Expose your child to songs with different beats, instruments, and ways of verbalizing. You never know what they'll end up liking!
• Take children to public spaces with a diverse population: Children learn so much by observation. In order for them to realize that there are so many different kinds of people, they need to actually see them! I realize that this one is more difficult for people who don't live in a big city like me, but any gathering space will likely have people of different races, religions, styles of dress, and hairstyles. Let your child see these differences!
• Bring a diversity of people to your home to interact with the baby: When you have a teeny tiny one, you often spend a lot of your time at home. Your friends often come to you instead of the other way around. Who are the people that you are having over? Who does your baby see is welcome in your home? This can send a very powerful message to your little one. Now, I am not saying that you should invite some random people over to your house with an infant if you don't really know them. That's just going to make everyone uncomfortable! But if the only people that ever come to the house are people that look like you, ask yourself why. How can you expand your level of comfort with people who are different from you? Can you make new parent friends of different races so as to model inclusiveness to your baby? Think about ways that you are stretch yourself-your baby will learn from that too!

I hope that this was a helpful list. Do you have other ideas? Post them in the comments below! And don't forget to sign up for our newsletter! Check back in a few days for tips for a slightly older set of kids-Toddlers & Preschoolers.

If you have ever spent time with a toddler, you know that they love to talk. They ask a constant (and sometimes unrelenting) amount of questions, make random statements that seem to come out of nowhere, and make connections that seem so odd that you think that they are brilliant. I was definitely one of those kids who talked constantly (sorry Mom!) and I never outgrew it. I still talk all the time and ask questions all of the time. Kids do this as a means of making sense of the world around them. The world is a pretty confusing place! There is a lot going on and all of that information can be hard to process. As a child's brain develops, he or she is trying to put things in categories in order to make sense of his or her surroundings.  This includes race and ethnicity.

There are people who argue that children are born colorblind; that they don't "see color" until they are taught to. This is absolutely not the case. Studies show that children appear to prefer faces of their own race as young as three-months-old (Kelly, Quinn, Slater, Lee, Gibson, Smith, Ge, & Pascalis, 2005). Children start to really see skin color around 5- or 6-months-old. By 15 months, children are already starting to choose playmates based on racial preference (Burns & Sommerville, 2014).  So, all children see color. They have to; it helps them to understand their world. And that's ok. It is the value that they assign these categories that should be addressed.

This is where parents, family members, and educators come in. Race needs to be discussed with kids. If you do not want your kids to assign negative biases to certain racial and ethnic groups, discuss it with them, over and over again. Your kids will receive all kinds of messages about different racial categories. Some of it will come from the home, some from school, some from media and TV, and some just walking down the street. If you leave kids to come to their own conclusions about all of these messages, they will most likely lead to ideas that include negative biases about certain races. I want to be clear that this kind of conversation is important for ALL kids. If your child is a part of a majority racial/ethnic group, you do not want them to think that they are better than others or that they deserve certain things that others do not. You do not want them to become a person who has difficulty interacting with people who are different. If your child is a part of a minority group, you do not want your child internalizing the negative messages that they are bound to hear about their racial/ethnic group. You want to try to shape your child's positive views of him or herself. If your child is multiracial, then the messages that he or she will receive can be incredibly confusing. Help your child to make sense of these mixed messages by engaging in conversation.

This is not the kind of conversation that can happen once and then your kid is good to go. Race is complex-adults do not completely understand it either! So start the conversation early and keep the lines of communication open. Once your child realizes that this is not a taboo topic (which is often what is communicated to kids), they will come to you with more questions. You won't always have the answers and that's ok! You can ponder and discuss and learn right along with your child, which is another value lesson to teach them.

Although this appears to be written mostly for parents, the same applies to teachers, family members, and other loved ones who regularly interact with children.

Let me know your thoughts on this topic. What burning questions do you have? What else do you want or need to know? I have a feeling this will be a topic we visit again...and again...and again...