Tips For Talking To Kids About Race: Teenagers/Young Adults

This is the final installment of this series. Even if you have a teen at home or a young adult who is no longer at home, check out some of the previous blogs on this topic as well. Even some of the suggestions in the babies section will be applicable to you and your child. You should check the toddlers/preschoolers and school-aged kids posts as well. And if you are still not sure why it is important to talk about this stuff, find out why here and here. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of the series. Enjoy!

Teenagers/Young Adults:
I included young adult in here because once your kids are adults, they will encounter a whole other set of issues regarding race that they may have been shielded from when they were living at home. Don't stop the conversation when your kids leave the house! The brain continues to develop until a child is about 26 so even in their early 20s, they are still trying to make sense of the world. So keep it going well into adulthood.

• Watch the news and read articles together: Kids this age are not oblivious-they know what is going on in the world. People are talking about it at school, in their extracurricular activities, at your place of worship, etc. They know about Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, and Sandra Bland and they have opinions about it. Do you know what those opinions are? You should. Take some time at the end of the day or on a weekend to read an article or watch a few minutes of the news. Then discuss it and see what they have to say. You may be surprised by how much they talk.
• Have the hard conversations: This is a continuation of the conversations that you started when they were school-aged kids. Kids who are 16 and 17 are about to legally become adults (keyword: legally). They need to understand that their actions have consequences and that their parents won't be able to bail them out if they make really bad, racially-charged decisions. Think that teenagers are innocent and don't make poor choices that can affect them for the rest of their lives? Check out this article. Things like this happen all the time and it is not just the victim who suffers. So be honest about the world outside of your home and the potential consequences of their actions.
• Answer their questions with questions: You have worked really hard to have an open household and to have honest conversations, so now your teen is coming to you and asking questions  (yes, teens do talk!). Do not give them a simplistic or easy answer! Those answers do not really exist. Our world is complicated and they can and should continue to talk about it-with friends, in classes, with colleagues. It may be frustrating for them, and for you, not to just give them a quick soundbite, but they will likely appreciate your honesty and your willingness to treat them like the (almost) adults that they are. I have yet to meet a teenager who doesn't appreciate the phrase "You are not a 5- or even 10-year-old; I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you." Whatever comes next is usually not as blunt as it would be as a conversation with an actual adult, but adolescents appreciate it when you do not treat them like babies. They will like that you encourage them to challenge themselves and discuss their thoughts with others. What an empowering thing to teach young people as they head off into the world!

This is the end of our series. But don't worry, there is more! If you enjoyed it and want weekly inspiration and empowerment for having these conversations and so much more, sign up for our newsletter. Instead of having to remember to check out the blog, you will get great information delivered right to your email. Tips, strategies, articles, and videos so you don't have to figure it all out yourself! When you sign up, you will receive a useful book list that will allow you to put in place one of the first suggestions from this series.
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Don't forget to leave a comment and contact us if you have questions or you want Dr. Sweeney speak to your group.