Cultural Competence A-Z: X is for Xenophobia

More LOVE. Less HATE.

So, this post isn't for xenophobia, it's anti xenophobia, but that didn't look right in the title. Just so we're clear...

What is xenophobia anyway? It's the fear and hatred of people who are different from you. Basically, you hold your people (whatever that means to you) in high esteem and significantly dislike and/or are fearful of people who are different from you. Most of the time, this word is used in terms of race, but in recent years we've seen it used more often in regards to religion (hello Islamophobia). But fill in any form of prejudice and it still applies:

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Socioeconomic Status (all poor people are lazy)
Disability *Visible or Not Visible* (I don't want kids with ADHD in class with my child)
Country of Origin (Mexicans are rapists - sound familiar?)
Family Structure (All single mothers are poor and on welfare)
Neighborhood/Region (A lot of the kids at that school are from across the river - something very real here in DC)

All of these quotes don't necessarily sound like hate (except the rapist one - I mean, c'mon), but they are the precursors to hateful feelings and behaviors. When we read articles that talk about teenagers who engage in hateful behaviors (such as this... and this... and this...), it's important to remember that these behaviors did not come out of nowhere. These kids learned these feelings and attitudes from somewhere. More often than not, the message that these attitudes are ok are communicated inadvertently. But that doesn't make them any less powerful...

So how do you raise a kid who is not xenophobic? A child, and eventual adult, who values and appreciates people who are different from them. Here are a few suggestions. There are always more options, but start with these - especially the first one. It's really important:

• Keep Your Language & Behavior In Check: Words matter. Actions matter. Does your behavior and the language that you use indicate that you value the new, different, and unfamiliar? Do you turn your nose up at certain foods? Associate with only certain parents at your child's school? Laugh when a friend or family member tells an inappropriate joke? All of these things matter - and your child notices them. They are silent approvals of exactly what you are trying not to teach.
• Seek Out New Experiences: Show your child that you care about other people who are different - whatever that means to you. Seek out ways to interact with others. Those interactions can and should be genuine. Kids can smell insincerity a mile away...
• Communicate Openly With Your Kids: Don't expect that you'll be perfect so have talks with your kids about this. Explain that you want them to learn from other and you want to as well. Ask them for how they want to interact more with people who are different. You'll be amazed at what they come up with. Don't assume that just because they are young that they don't understand that biases exist. They may not have the words for it, but they are aware of others' discomfort (yours included).

What will you try first? Let us know what you try in the comments below. And check back next week for letter Y. Better yet, sign up for the newsletter so you don't have to remember to check. Tips, strategies, & fun delivered right to your inbox every week. Share with others & enjoy!

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