Cultural Competence A-Z: I is for Interactions

I really like this particular letter because it's all about getting up close and personal. It's great to talk about people who are different than you, but one thing that is truly effective in changing hearts, minds, and attitudes is interacting with people who are different. Why is this the case? Well, when you interact with and get to know people who are different than you, they can help to debunk the myths that can be held about a group that they belong to. Think all Muslims are terrorists? Not my friend from school and her family. All Black people are violent? Not the nice man from my church who always gives me candy (this is actually something that happens at my church - one man gives my kids candy every weekend. They LOVE him - clearly!). All gay people are promiscuous? Not our family friend who has been in a committed and monogamous relationship with his boyfriend for the past 8 years. Without these interactions, it can be harder (not impossible, but much more difficult) to understand that stereotypes aren't applicable to everyone. This can be especially helpful for children, who need something concrete, rather than hypothetical, to really internalize that. Or better yet, interactions can help prevent stereotypes from developing and solidifying in children's brains to begin with.

There is a caveat to this, however. The interaction has to be authentic. It can't be forced or just for show. Kids will see right through that. And they are going to look to you as the adult to set the tone. So if you always say hello to the mom at school who is a different color than you, but are actually friends with moms who are of your same race, that sends a powerful message to a child. Kids are smart - they know the difference! Encourage your child to interact with people who are different, but follow your own advice as well. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Playdates: Who does you kid come home talking about? Is it a kid of another race or religion? A kid who lives in a different neighborhood? Seek out that child's parent for a playdate. Don't want to do it at your house? Meet up somewhere - even stay after school with both kids and maybe offer to take the other child home afterwards. There are lots of ways to go about setting up playdates. And they help develop friendships in a way that is different than being in the classroom.
• Seek out other sources of friendship: School is a great way to develop new friendships, but what if your child's school isn't that diverse? Check out other ways for your child to develop friendship. What about your place of worship? A class that your child takes? Not good options either? Take your child to a playground in a part of town you don't usually frequent. Attend a fair or event in the next town over. There are lots of ways to seek out new friends!
• Lead by example: Do you have friends who are different from you? If yes, do they ever come to the house? Does your child know them and see them? If not, think about the message that you are sending to your kids. If you are asking your child to do something new and different, why can't you too? Maybe invite over that co-worker for dinner one night or hang out with the Mom you say hi to, but aren't necessarily friends with. Stretch yourself and your child will follow your lead.

Which one will you try first? Which is the easiest? Any additional suggestions on ways to reach out? Leave a comment below so we can all benefit from your great ideas!

Did you enjoy this blog post? Don't miss another one by signing up for the newsletter! You will get the latest from Culturally Competent Kids so you don't have to remember to check. Enjoy!

---