Blog Series: The 5 Essential Elements of Cultural Competence: Interaction

This is the third installment in this blog series; we are more than halfway through! It's based on an article by Terry Cross and colleagues written in 1989 about cultural competence. In the article, the authors talk about cultural competence in relation to organizations and systems. In this blog series, we're attempting to pare it down to the individual and include tips on how to develop these skills in your home with your kids.

The third essential element for cultural competence is being conscious of the dynamics inherent when cultures interact. Well, what the heck does that mean?!? Well, when people of different cultures talk to each other, work with each other, befriend each other, there are going to be some cultural misunderstandings. What is considered normal in one culture may be different or strange in another culture. For example, there are some countries that teach their school children that there are 5 continents, not 7. In Norway, it's often considered bad table manners to eat a sandwich or burger with your hands. Apparently, there are lots of things that Americans do that others find rude (and vice versa!). So there are bound to be misunderstandings. How can you teach your child to anticipate, and even embrace, these awkward and sometimes uncomfortable situations?

• Reframe the discomfort as learning: Kids are so often taught that it's best to just know everything and never make mistakes. However, in order for kids to learn, they have to make mistakes. They have to experience some discomfort with the fact that they don't know everything about everyone. So when you see them not knowing what to do when coming in contact with a new culture or if they talk to you about it, emphasize the fact that they learned something new. In fact, it's great to make mistakes. It allows you to absorb new information and move on.
• Seek out new experiences with your kids (from an early age): So often, coming in contact with a new culture is uncomfortable because we're not used to it. If you spend your whole childhood with people of the same race and religion as you and then go off to college and meet people of all different skin colors and spiritual beliefs, it's going to be pretty uncomfortable. If you start having playdates with people of all different cultures at age 3, then meeting someone new and different won't seem nearly as shocking to you. Yes, your child will make mistakes and say things that make you uncomfortable along the way, but that's how they learn! And let's face it, it's better for those embarrassing things to come out of their mouths at 5 years old than when they are 22 at their first job. Just sayin'.
• Be careful of your (verbal & nonverbal) language: Kids really pay attention to what their parents say and how they say it. When talking about norms from another culture, do you call it "weird" or "strange"? When you smell or see food from another culture do you turn away or wrinkle your nose? These subtleties may not seem like such a big deal to you, but they make a huge impression on kids. Be aware of the messages you're sending and try to neutralize them so your kids don't internalize that things that are different are inherently bad.

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